Of speed and innocent citizens
by thisloveisradiant
Summary: Fushimi hardly uttered a protest before the young man yelled "DRIVE! DRIIIVEEE!" and attempted to control his wheel, all the while looking back and forth like a scared chicken. Tumblr prompt "You were chased by the cops, got in my car and just yelled 'Drive'" AU


Fushimi swore that his day couldn't get any worse. Bad day wasn't even close to sum up what he'd been through in the past ten hours. Stupid incompetent subordinates! Go to hell, lazy laid-back director! Curse you nagging bossy superiors! Just fuck yourself, dearest flat-brained customers! He signed the office job up for easy money, not for dealing with idiots, god damn it!

After throwing his suit case in the car like a superhero trying to get rid of a time bomb, he slammed the door shut with way more force than necessary. He hit max limit speed right away, half wanting to just drive madly to relieve some stresses, half still not quite ready to get a speeding ticket yet.

Fushimi left the windows full open, feeling the winds blew strongly at him and made his hair a mess. It was late, and Fushimi wanted nothing but to come back to his apartment and pass out for another ten hours. Or a decade. Better a decade. Maybe a century? It'd be nice to wake up in a random morning and find out everyone he knew had died. Hah.

He slowed down as he reached a cross path, red light flickering as if it was too tired to function properly, just like the way Fushimi barely kept his eyes open now.

All of a sudden, a very loud noise shot through the air as something crashed right into the back of his car, pushing it nearly a foot forward. Fushimi didn't have the time to regain composure when a small figure practically threw their head into his open window and shouted inhuman cries at him.

"What the...!?"

"I SAID, LET ME IN!" The figure, apparently an young man according to the voice, already fumbled with the door bolt inside the car.

"No, what the hell! Are you a car robber or something? Do a better job next time." Fushimi scolded and kicked the intruder's hands, hard.

"Auch, that hurts! Thi-this is an emergency. I'll explain later!"

The absurd stranger managed to flung the door open and threw himself inside as if he owned the car. Fushimi hardly uttered a protest before the young man yelled "DRIVE! DRIIIVEEE!" and attempted to control his wheel, all the while looking back and forth like a scared chicken. Unlucky for Fushimi, the light turned green and he had no choice but to drive the car forward.

"What. The. Actual. FUCK?" Fushimi grunted. He was so done. 1000% done. What, was today "Hey everyone and everything, let's make Fushimi Saruhiko miserable" day?

"I-I'm being chased. I did nothing wrong I swear!" The stranger, who was a tad shorter than Fushimi and had messy chestnut hair along with amber eyes, kept sweeping his head back and fidgeting with the skateboard in his arms. Now that Fushimi had a closer look at him, he was actually kind of cute. As cute as a restless baby lion climbing to the edge of a cliff. Which might not really the best sense of cute and probably an inappropriate simile, but frankly Fushimi didn't care that much.

"Chase a shorty like you? Who? Mafia? Stalker? Your mom?" Fushimi mocked with a deadpan voice.

"I'm not short! The name's Yata. And I'm chased by...the cops..."

"OUT of my fucking car."

"No, no, just, listen, It's probably a misunderstanding, okay? I was - " Yata shut his mouth instantly when a series of police sirens filled their ears, only to scream again ten times louder.

"Crap, crap, they're here, god damn it please just driveeeeeeeeee!"

"If it's a misunderstanding why don't you just get your ass out there and explain it to them. Don't drag me into this." Fushimi clicked his tongue. So much for his plan of "passing out peacefully for a decade "tonight.

"Talking to cops is not the shit I'm willing to take. Come on, you were seen with me already, won't you just cooperate?" Despite being the dependent here this guy seemed to be way too demanding, Fushimi briefly thought. Hah, two could play that game.

Fushimi slowed the car down a little bit, pushing the other man further in panic mode, and smirked wickedly.

"Very well. What do I get in return?"

"Er..." Yata hesitantly looked around, then looked down at himself, and looked back at Fushimi. "I don't bring money."

The police sirens were getting louder. Noisy cars were chasing hot on their heels. Fushimi felt like he was being in an third-rated action movie. Too bad he probably didn't have enough facial expressions to pretend he was an actual actor.

"It doesn't have to be money, though~" He singsong the obvious suggestion with a lopsided smile. Might as well have a little fun to end this terrible day.

What Fushimi didn't expect was that Yata's eyes shone with innocence. "Okay? I'll do anything, just drive already! They almost catch up!

"Anything, you said..." The car owner chuckled. "All right, buckle up and grab the nearest nylon bag to you."

"...Hah?"

Fushimi cracked his knuckles. Time to shine, Saru – inner fucking badass – hiko.

Yata was shocked to an inch of his life when Fushimi sped off with what seemed like double the speed limit, then did a blizzard full U-turn and headed to a suspicious narrow alley. He continued to shake the cops off his tail by turning left and right all over the places, sneaking through small hidden roads which allowed only once car went at once, and stopping abruptly to trick the police to go on.

After ten minutes of wild adventure, Fushimi calmly slowed down when the cops were nowhere to be seen. He glanced at his companion and gave a small laugh, clearly amused.

"Have fun?"

The companion in question was vomiting nonstop, face as pale as a ghost, hands trembling like a leaf.

""WHAT. The. Actual. FUCK?" Yata managed to spit out at least that after throwing up his entire dinner, or whatever left of it.

"Saving you from the cops, dear innocent citizen who is misunderstood for a danger to the society, duh."

Yata groaned and banged his head on the dashboard. "Oh my god...I saw my whole life flashing in my mind four times in around ten minutes...The real danger to the society here is you, fucking mad driver."

"I prefer "mad skill of controlling a splendid car", thank you. Now can you tell me what you did?"

"Well... Earlier I went to buy this baby here", Yata pointed to his skateboard with a proud smile, "but I didn't bring enough money, so I was like, hey mister I'll do anything to make up for the lack of money, then the boss there was like, okay let me grope your ass. I was so pissed off. Some people just deserve a nice whipping, you know? So I beat him up and took my skateboard as a compensation. Who knew he dared to send the cop after me?"

Fushimi looked straight into Yata's eyes and made an "are you serious right now" face.

"What?" The redhead fumed defensively, not seeing anything wrong with his little story.

"...Nothing. Ah, we've arrived. This is my apartment."

"Eh? Why do you take me to your place? Just drop me at a bus stop somewhere."

"It's 10 p.m. No bus is available."

"Then could you kindly take me home? It's only around 6kms from here."

"No."

"Heartless bastard..."

Yata grumpily got out of the car, holding himself to fight the cold weather. Fushimi unlocked the door and waltzed in without any care in the world. No invitation was made so Yata helped himself in, feeling a tad nervous. When he got into the main room, Fushimi was taking off his coat, waistcoat and tie.

"Say, can I get my reward now?" Fushimi's tone was soft and teasing.

"Okay. What the hell do you want?" Yata asked cautiously, breathing slow. This didn't seem good. Oh god, he really, really, really didn't want to meet two perverts in a row.

Fushimi stepped closer, dressing in only his white shirt and trouser now. "I want you to..."

Yata took a small step back, eyes narrowed. "Hah ?"

Fushimi placed a hand in the redhead's shoulder and turned him around lightly, pointing him to the kitchen's door. "To cook me dinner. I'm so hungry I think I'll pass out."

"...HAH?"

"In fact, I'm going to sleep now. Wake me up when you're done cooking." Fushimi said flatly, with no expression whatsoever. As soon as the sentence was finished, he lay down on the couch and practically let his soul go.

Yata was left dumbfounded for a good minute, then he kicked the host's leg lightly.

"Hey, I don't even know your name. How can I wake you up?"

It took another soft kick going to Fushimi's lower back that he mumbled out "Fushimi Saru...hiko. And don't put...vegetables...in."

An hour later, Fushimi was woken up by a loud yell of "Wake the fuck up stupid monkey my awesome self makes you 5-star midnight dinner you better eat it all!" and a nice aroma of pork curry. Maybe today wasn't so bad after all.


End file.
